Fae of the Flowers

I used to be such a pretentious twat about only reading physical books because I felt like that made my reading experience more “real” than those who read on e-readers. But after setting my old Barnes and Noble NOOK back up (I received it as a gift in 2017), and downloading a bunch of free books, I realize now that I have really been selling myself short. Sure, nothing compares to a physical book; the feeling of turning pages, the smell of them, the feeling of holding an entire world in your hands. But e-readers have a place too. I literally have my own library in the palm of my hands, I can read anywhere without fear of accidentally spilling something on the pages. The best part is that I can read smut out in public without people giving me the raised eyebrow. Also, Barnes and Noble has a LOT of free E-books to just give away on the NOOK app, which would have cost me some money if I’d only ordered the physical copies.

I just feel like a huge door has been opened before me as a reader, and I’ve been stubbornly refusing to open that door because of the false idea that having only physical books made me a better reader. Which now feels really stupid. I carry my NOOK with me everywhere now.

I was recently rereading the Twilight saga and I flew through the first book and New Moon. I want to say how much I absolutely love New Moon. The pure angst, heartache, and sheer hopelessness of losing someone who was your entire world is so perfectly described. I used to think Bella was crazy for being so dependent on Edward but now I understand that feeling, of feeling their absence in every detail of your life. It's only been a couple of months since I read it but I want to read it again because it's such a beautiful book.

But for some reason, I am really dreading rereading Eclipse. I hated reading that book when I was a teenager. I remember it taking me 11 months to finish (part of that was because I used to read multiple books at once but I digress.) When I was a kid, I was in love with Edward up until that book. This book painted him as abusive, controlling, he isolated Bella from Jacob, and for some reason, that was supposed to be seen as protective and romantic. Even at that age, I read the scene of him breaking her car and thought "This is not how a boyfriend should behave."

And then Jacob literally assaults Bella and forces her to kiss him. I'm fully convinced that Stephanie knew that fans were loving Jacob more than Edward and just started character assassinating him, and that's why he was being so uncharacteristically creepy.

I don't know, part of me is just wanting to mentally tell myself that the series ended after New Moon. I do love the character backstories for Rosalie, Jasper, and basically any character that isn't Edward or Bella, but I just remember Eclipse and Breaking Dawn being so painful to read when the first two books were so heartfelt.

But I feel obligated to finish the entire reread before I start reading Midnight Sun.